Yoga Teacher Burnout, Priorities, Addiction and Reclaiming Love
Seems like this could be a heavy hearted newsletter, huh? No, it’s not. It’s just me recognizing that a shift is happening and I need to sit still for a while to feel into our new home in Fort Lauderdale. I need to practice gratitude for living 50 years and having such an amazing life of opportunity and love. I have traveled my entire life. I love it and for sure this is not the end of it but I would like to not get on an airplane for a while.
Am I burnt out? No, I am not. What I recognize, from recovery is that anything we put before our program, we lose. I see and feel that my life of addiction to many things has, in some areas, transferred over the years to my teaching career. That’s not good or bad or right or wrong. It just needs some rebalancing. I need some time to be with the recovery community here in South Florida and I want more time with my husband of 20 years and family too.
What’s great about this for me is, I am allowed to have a million ideas everyday of what I might want to do next, teach at a local studio and not travel, travel a little or just take a break from traveling and then get back to it or or or even open a studio. I have the complete luxury of not having any time pressures on me to decide. I think that this is an intersection I have worked towards navigating my entire life. Now, I’m here and yes, it’s a little scary. I like plans, calendars, tickets, bookings, reservations and yes frequent flyer miles.
What do I know? I know that many of you have been sending me lots of emails in every channel possible, email, facebook messenger and insta mail and more because you want to know my 2019 schedule of teaching and workshops, retreats and trainings. Thank you all so much for your continued interest to further your practice and studies with me. Those emails are humble reminders of the work that we all do and that it may be more important and necessary now than ever before.
Well, right now, I don’t have anything, crazy I know, anything on my calendar for 2019. I have had some invitations and light conversations with folks in many places in the USA and other countries. First, I am committed to doing something I’ve never really done before, taking a big break. I am not teaching the remainder of 2018 and just allowing that energy of constant plan and go mode to settle, a lot.
So, as I’ve been saying for a long time, the muscle I am exercising the most over the next few months is patience. The patience piece, is with myself and the expectations I place on myself of what other people think I should be doing. Please know that I have felt incredibly privileged to serve and be of service to this worldwide community we dance and play in. Many of my most memorable moments have come from serving. Now, after a 20 year relationship, the love of family has called for us to be closer and be of service. I don’t want to think, I want to know that I can show up for that, which as an alcoholic and addict in recovery, showing up and being around people can still, sometimes be some of my most challenging work. I need to witness myself walk my talk in this up-leveled way. To me, this is an act of reaffirming and diving deeper into intimacy.
If you see me in a class in South Florida, I’m not interviewing the studio. I just need to be a student and if you see me with my good friends Ben and Jerry, grab a spoon and join in. I am going to pull back on social media, just a little. It’s a bit of a trigger for me to have so much of my attention on all of that. This is me, seeing those threads of yoga and recovery and making sure that everything I am doing is keeping me spiritually fit.
There are ways to continue your practice with me. There are 20 videos, of various time lengths, on my website, www.lesleventhalyoga.com/videos and we recently reduced the pricing on all of them. Another option is go to https://www.yogadownload.com/lesleventhal . On there you can find many new videos, including videos on chanting and different meditation techniques.